So I have started a new workout plan which is also, coincidentally, one of the dorkiest things I think I have ever done. I have decided to start training for a Zombie Apocalypse. It’s not that I think one is right around the corner or anything overly paranoid like that, but I thought this could be a fun and motivational way to get my workout on. My friend, Stephanie, said that I should blog about my Zombie Training. I figured that I might as well, because it’s not like I’ve been blogging about anything else lately.
So first things first. What physical skills do I need in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse? The absolute first thing to pop into my mind was running. I will need to run from both zombies and my slower, meat-shieldier counterparts. TERI FACT: I am not a runner. I assumed running was a horrible way to spend your time. And that my joints (which are very similar to spiteful old hags) wouldn’t allow me to run very much before crippling me indefinitely.
A week or so ago, I skeptically decided to get on a treadmill and run for a couple minutes. First to see how my joints would respond and second to see whether or not I would die immediately. Well, I didn’t die. And my joints didn’t decide to make me rue the day. In fact, learned something very important about running that day:
I love it.
Or, to clarify, I love how I feel after doing it.
So I found a schedule designed to take a beginner to running for 30-minutes straight and have started that. This week it is run 1 minute, walk 2 minutes. I do that for 20 minutes with a 5-minute walk warmup and 5-minute walk cooldown.
Skills I will need in a Zombie Apocalypse:
2. Upper body strength (you know, for swinging melee weapons)
3. Knives training
4. Firearms training
6. Vegetable gardening
7. Basic first aid
8. Survival skills (how to make a fire, what berries won’t kill you, tracking, etc)
9. Extreme Prejudice (fortunately I already have this)
Since most of these don’t really fit into 45 minutes at the gym, I am only focusing on running and upper body strength for now. I thought it might be beneficial to take one of those self-defense classes for women, but I don’t think they really cover taking down an undead attacker before they can eat you. Probably still some good skills to have despite that.
Feel free to comment if you can think of other skills I should have. You don’t have to, but know that if there IS a Zombie Apocalypse and you didn’t tell me on here that you thought javelin throwing would be useful, just know that you are probably the reason I died because I never would have thought of javelin throwing myself. This got me wondering, is it possible to buy a javelin on Amazon? Answer: yes.