Winter Weight Gain

Winter is a magical time of snow, toy-making elves, and weight gain [if you are me].  Mr. W attributes winter weight to my being German, and I’m not going to argue with him as that sounds a hell of a lot better than “I’m a lazy ass who eats too much chocolate.”  I’m not the most active person typically.  I have a desk job and my primary hobbies are: reading, playing video games, playing table-top RPG games, and watching movies.  I got sedentary action going on.  I think winter compounds the problem, as my general attitude is “It’s too damn cold to: take a walk/get out of bed/move.”

So anyway, it isn’t winter anymore, and I need to get my bikini body back.  And by “bikini body”, I mean “lose some weight but there’s still no way in hell you’d catch my body in a bikini”.  This means raising the activity level.  Work has also recently slowed down, allowing me time to work out in our company gym.  So I’ve been trying to go there every day for some elliptical fun [term used loosely]!  Also, when Mr. W doesn’t pick me up from work I am walking home from the train station instead of taking the bus (about 1.5ish miles).  And Mr. W and I are taking walks when it is nice out.

But I wanted something more to do at home because I still kind of felt like a lazy blob.  So I went on Amazon and looked at exercise videos that I could instantly download.  I looked for ones that had the highest ratings, and I read reviews.  I bought one of The Biggest Loser ones because it looked pretty promising.  That might seem silly to you, and that’s okay.  I’ve never watched the show and know nothing about any of the people on it, but it had hundreds of four and five-star reviews.

Another thing I liked about it is, if you buy the three or four different chapters, you have several complete workouts in varying degrees of difficulty.  I figured, once I master the first one, I can just move on without buying a new workout!  I do not see myself mastering this workout any time soon.  The first workout is entitled “Low Intensity Cardio” but should really be called “Squat ‘Til You Die”.

I did it for the first time on Friday.  My quads were killing me the rest of the evening, but I was a-okay come Saturday morning.  Encouraged from my rapid rebound, I did it again on Sunday.  And I have to say, I think there is some kind of cruel joke going on.  You try a new workout and your body is all, “Oh yeah, bring it.  I feel great!  Can’t wait to do this again!!” So you do it again and your body is like, “Haha, syke!  How do you like pain, Stupid Head?!”

I don’t think there is a muscle in my body that does not hurt.  Except perhaps those in my fingers, which is how I am still able to type this.  Going to do it again on Wednesday though–I must not succumb to the will of my quads.  They will squat, dammit, like they’ve never squatted before.