Warning: This Post May Cause Blood Clots

I am paranoid about blood clots.  More specifically, me getting one and dying spontaneously in an embarrassing position, like while on the toilet.

Anytime I have pain in my legs [which, weirdly, is pretty often–AM I DYING?!?!?] I have to check for clots.  Is my leg swollen?  Warm in one spot?  Discolored?  The answer to these questions is always no and I go back to whatever I was doing (jazzercise).  Just kidding, I do not jazzercise.  I wasn’t even completely sure of what it was, only that it was a funny word, but after reading a little about it on Wikipedia it actually sounds like fun.  Perhaps I should jazzercise.  Although, come to think of it, it would also be pretty embarrassing to have your dead, blood-clotted corpse found while jazzercising.  They would definitely mention that in the obituary because people love irony.

I am usually able to push thoughts of blood clots out of my mind for a while, but they always spring up again unexpectedly.  Especially when I read news articles like some guy getting a blood clot and being dead in a gaming cafe for 9 hours before being discovered.

At least he wasn’t on the toilet.

What do you think?