I am paranoid about blood clots. More specifically, me getting one and dying spontaneously in an embarrassing position, like while on the toilet.
Anytime I have pain in my legs [which, weirdly, is pretty often–AM I DYING?!?!?] I have to check for clots. Is my leg swollen? Warm in one spot? Discolored? The answer to these questions is always no and I go back to whatever I was doing (jazzercise). Just kidding, I do not jazzercise. I wasn’t even completely sure of what it was, only that it was a funny word, but after reading a little about it on Wikipedia it actually sounds like fun. Perhaps I should jazzercise. Although, come to think of it, it would also be pretty embarrassing to have your dead, blood-clotted corpse found while jazzercising. They would definitely mention that in the obituary because people love irony.
I am usually able to push thoughts of blood clots out of my mind for a while, but they always spring up again unexpectedly. Especially when I read news articles like.
At least he wasn’t on the toilet.