This Just In

Breaking News!
Major upset at the office today when employees learned that there was no sugar for their morning coffees.

“I think the whole building is suffering a shortage,” one man said.   “People kept coming over when I was making coffee, and saying, ‘Oh, you guys are out too.'”

Yes, it was pandemonium as the realization dawned that the substandard sweetener, Sweet N Low, would have to be supplemented.  Or, in the most extreme of cases, no sweeteners at all.

“Sweet N Low is horrible.  It doesn’t even dissolve in your coffee,” another employee is quoted in saying. No, anonymous office staffer.  No, it doesn’t.  This reporter’s Columbian Supremo was sampled and quickly tossed before hurrying down to the nearest convenience store and purchased some of 7-11’s finest, returning to cheers and proclamations of “You’re my savior!”

Yours truly didn’t think that purchasing sugar was quite on par with dying for the sins of all mankind, but remained silent.

3 thoughts on “This Just In

  1. Rock out with your… well, whatever
    Yay for bringing sugar to the sugarless masses! Bleh to artificial sweeteners. Those are like death in a little blue, pink or yellow packet for me. Not good. You'd have been MY coffee savior (see what I did there? Yeah, I changed it slightly).
    Rock Band sounds like a blast.

    • Re: Rock out with your… well, whatever
      Splenda is awesome and I will sing its praises until the day I perish from this earth.
      I read that the drums were the hardest part of rock band. Who sang?
      Your office is lucky to have somebody like you with the common sense to just walk down the block and buy sugar.
      Simpsons quote time!
      "In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women …"

      • Re: Rock out with your… well, whatever
        All five of us took turns singing. For the majority of the night, I insisted that my not singing was in everyone's best interest. After a couple drinks, they got me to sing "Celebrity Skin" by Hole, "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet, and "Creep" by Radiohead.

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