It’s amazing how a little urine can ruin your day. I left for work this morning–happy because I had actually gotten a respectable amount of sleep for a change. It was nice and warm, despite the prediction for chilly temperatures and rain. I even hummed as I walked to the train station.
This is where the urine comes in. And not my own, either. I entered the train car to a very distinct smell of urine coming from one corner. The other passengers had huddled on the opposing side of the train to get away from the smell in a way that would have been funny, had I not been smelling pee at the time.
And now I’m all paranoid that the smell traveled with me. Is it like cigarette smoke, permeating my hair and clothing? Are people walking by me in the office and thinking that I smell of pee? Should I release a statement concerning this?
“Attention fellow employees of [MY COMPANY]: It may have come to your attention that I, a dedicated worker and model American, smell like urine. For the record, it is not my urine, nor do I participate in or approve of public urination of any kind. The offender was a previous individual in my train car who may or may not be homeless and is, indeed, a heavy drinker. So to sum up: Pee smell. Not mine. I cannot stress that enough. That is all.”