Clone Request

Sometimes I hate receptionists.  Part of my day job is to identify what advisors are associated with what rep codes.  The only real way to do this is to call the branch and ask the receptionist, who keeps of list of that sort of information.

Usually it’s like this:
Me: “Hi, I’m calling from [company] and have the rep code 123.  I’m just looking for the name of that advisor.”
Receptionist: “Sure, that’s [advisor name].”

See how easy that is?  But sometimes I get a receptionist who, instead of making things easy, transfers me to the advisor without telling me their name.  That goes a little something like this:

Me: “Hi, I’m calling from [company] and have the rep code 123.  I’m just looking for the name of that advisor.”
Advisor: “That’s me.  Why do you need to know this?”
Me: “A trade came through our system and we didn’t have that rep code associated with anyone.”
Advisor: “Who are you again?”
Me: “I’m Teri, with [company].”
Advisor: “I didn’t do any trades with [company].”
[Insert five exasperating minutes wherein I explain that yes he did the business with us and GOOD LORD JUST TELL ME WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!!!]

Stupid receptionist.  How dare you not make my life easier.

I think that should be everyone’s goal–to make my life easier.  I see no inherent problems with that plan.  I would, however, settle for a clone.  Clone me could just do all the things that I don’t care for–cooking, errands, and doctor’s appointments being the big three.  I would need some way to ensure that the clone didn’t make a clone, because I’ve seen Multiplicity and do not need any retarded clones running around, mucking things up, and asking for pizza all of the time.

I was at the grocery store with Mr. W last night and, as I stood in the check-out line, became absolutely disgusted with all the magazines.  All the fashion, celebrity gossip, and home decor crap.  “529 Hot Spring Looks!” and “What’s Beautiful Now!” and “Two Khardashian Weddings!”  It’s drivel.  But magazines only come out with this shit because it sells their magazines.  Which means: people like drivel.  People, why do you like drivel?  I assume that you discovered cloning technology and your clones made clones who are then buying these magazines.  That’s forgivable, as the cloned clones aren’t too bright, but what isn’t forgiveable is that no one has given me my own clone yet.

Get on that.