Teri Got Game…apparently

You learn something new every day.

Andrea:  “I was listening to this chic talk about trying to get a guy and I compared her to you and thought, ‘this girl has no game.  Teri has game.'”
Me:  “Me?”
Andrea:  “Yeah.”
Me:  “I have game?”
Andrea:  “Yeah.  She’s complaining about being alone and stuff, but you have guys wanting you and you don’t even realize it.”
Me:  “I do?”
Andrea:  “Yeah.”
Me:  “What guys?”
Andrea:  “I don’t know who they are–but you do.  You’ve got to just stop and look.”
[Short pause.] Me:  “I have game?”

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Paris Hilton.  I hate her.  Really, really hate her.2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Fergie.  Just because.3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Hmmm… no one specifically comes to mind.  The next guest to swear at me.  That would feel so good.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal.
The melted turkey/provolone sandwich from the deli I used to work at that no longer exists.  With lettuce and tomato.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie-celebrity of your choice.
I don’t even have to think about this.  100%-without-a-doubt MICHAEL VARTAN.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice.
Oh, oh Nick Hexum of 311.  He’s hot.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Go out for drinks with a friend, my treat.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Rome, Italy.  I’m ready, baby.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Wow! Now that you are in the new location, where are you gonna go to spend that?

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?
Mudslide mix.  🙂

12. Rufus (Bill and Ted fame) appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
Go back to the roaring 20s.  What would I do?  Live it up.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Something along the lines of furthering my unquestionable authority.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?
It’s called “That One Show.”  Perhaps it’d be in the vein of Seinfeld.  There aren’t any really good sitcoms on TV anymore.  And the cast wouldn’t be a bunch of gorgeous, anorexic people.  It would praise the normal.

15. What is your favorite expletive?
Que chingados

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Well, if they’re just standing there and not trying to eat my brains, then maybe I’d say hello.  Perhaps a, “Come here often?”

17. Your house is on fire, holy crap! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely.
My green shoulder bag.  It has my wallet, my ipod, my checkbook, a book, and my cell phone in it.

18. The Angel Of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
I’ll go with Sally’s answer and say “have sex”.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?
Again, stealing Sally’s answer (cause it’s damn good) and say, “Mind reading/control”.  But I can turn it off and on at will.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
I don’t want to answer here.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
Again, I don’t want to answer here.  But it’s different than the answer to #20.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check this out… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Where?

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude check it out I can FLOAT!!”?
Float?  Seriously?  I guess I’d pack a bag and float across the Atlantic–cause then at least I’d be on the news or something.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which late celebrity will you bring back to life?
Abraham Lincoln.  I think he could fix some things.

26. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world.
My grandpa–pre-cancer.

2 thoughts on “Teri Got Game…apparently

  1. LOL. i feel like that has to be a conversation in orange font. its too beautiful to pass up. perhaps it can be a conversation with kevin and his brain. (cause lord knows lana knows she's got game)

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