Mr. W was chosen to judge a science fair from his old school.  He was running late and concerned he would miss out on the opportunity.  He texted me to let me know he made it.

Mr. W: “Got here at 10, missed only the sixth grade class.”
Me: “Oh good!  Screw sixth graders.  Not literally.”
Mr. W: “Great, now the government has you on record as saying that.”
Me: “I said not literally.  We’re aces.”

And another text conversation I had today:

Tim: “I took the day off and we’re going to Disneyland.”
Me: “Horny! My phone auto-corrected “hooray” to horny.  Whatever floats your boat, cellphone.”
Tim: “Earlier when I typed “never” to you, it auto-corrected to “ne’er”.  So poetic.”
Me: “Agreed.  We should start texting like that more.”
Tim: “Thou hast an excellent plan!”
Me: “Verily.”

Lastly, I really wanted to share a news article that I read today.  Apparently a naked man walked into a Wal-Mart and stole some socks.  Out of all the things a naked person could steal in a public superstore, I would have thought that socks would have ranked further down on the list.  Especially in Pennsylvania during February.  Maybe it is just me.

Today I spent some time just thinking about the first couple years I lived in Chicago.  It was a great time.  I almost wish that I could relive it, just to appreciate it more.  [And, of course, it would be nice to do a few things differently.]

Some of the things I miss:

Me: Okay I made a character.  What do I do?
Tim: Just wait there, I will find you.
Me: These two guys came up to me and are talking to me.  How do I talk to them?
Tim: Hang on… almost there…
Me: Now they are dancing.  I am so confused.

Of course, I do not miss:

But you get the gist.  This isn’t to say that I am unhappy where I am now, far from it, but every once in a while I get injected with some sort of nostalgia virus and miss certain things.  It is a little like those times when you remember an old TV show from your childhood and get the urge re-watch it.  I would recommend getting it on Netflix though, as you will most certainly regret buying it.  Buying Dinosaurs might sound like a good idea now, but after the second or third “Not the Mama!” you will probably just shut it off.

I like to tease Mr. W that Higgs boson is real and the magical answer for everything because this bothers him.  For example, when we finally discover Higgs boson, we will be able to teleport!  Higgs boson will end world hunger!  And now, Higgs boson will make it possible for me to relive past experiences at my leisure!

Just wait, it’ll be a thing.

We feed Milo and Ellie Purina Kitten Chow.  Always have since we brought them home.  Ellie has this weird thing where, if the food has been sitting in the bowl for more than a couple hours, she will not eat it.  She’ll get all up in your face and act like she’s starving even though there is still some food in the bowl.

Usually they both great pretty excited about meal time [once in the morning when I wake up and once in the evening, around dinner time].  They both run over as I scoop a cup of food into the bowl and change out their water.  Ellie always gets to eat first–I don’t know whether Milo is a supergentleman or has just been cowed into sloppy seconds.  Milo will lie on the floor patiently and wait until Ellie is completely done.  Like, even if you picked Ellie up and carried her away [and I have, you know, in the name of science] Milo will not eat.  He will wait until she comes back and then stops eating of her own accord.

A couple of weeks ago, they both started showing less enthusiasm over being fed.  Ellie would sniff the new food and walk away, instead of diving in.  One night she started eating and then puked.  It’s the first time either of them had puked, so I was a little concerned.  We figured that she had gone too long without eating and once she started up again made herself sick.  We then began to wonder if something was wrong with this particular bag of cat food.

The next day I bought a different bag of Purina Kitten Chow to see if this would alleviate the problem.  It did not.  The day after that, Mr. W and I bought both Iams Kitten Chow and Meow Mix to see if perhaps they had decided they no longer liked Purina.  They didn’t seem overly enthusiastic about either.  It had been several days and we couldn’t figure out what they wanted to eat.  The third day, on a crazy whim, I scooped some of the original Purina Kitten Chow into their bowl.

They gobbled it up.  Clearly this has all been some sort of elaborate mind game wherein the cats try to determine how long it takes before I am driven completely insane.

—

In other news, two announcements: First, we have finally finished paying off the car!  Yay!  Now our only bill is my monstrous student loan.  [Something I have now dubbed, That Which Shall Not Be Named.]  It shall go on, not being named, for quite a damn while.

Secondly, my friend Tim has started a blog that’s going to work very much like a choose your own adventure.  He’ll start a story and readers get to vote on what should happen next.  I think it sounds like an awesomely fun idea and I might even get to write a guest post over there.  If you’d like to be involved in the creative process, head on over and subscribe to the updates!  If you do, you’ll lose weight and be invited to parties more!*

*Not scientifically proven.

Keeping in line with the title of this post, I have decided how I will die.  Also, how Paige and Tim will die.