Pickalittle Talkalittle

Girls drive me crazy.  And not in the cool Fine Young Cannibals way, “she drives me crazy… woo hoooo…”  They seriously drive me crazy.


What They Do:


Girl: “Okay, I have the funniest thing to tell you.  I was at the store–was it Walmart? No it couldn’t have been Walmart, I don’t shop there on weekends.  Where was it?  Maybe Target–I get Target and Walmart confused a lot.  Anyway, so I was at Target and I ran into Rob’s girlfriend, Amy.  Andy?  Annie?  What’s her name?”
Me: “Veronica.”
Girl: “Duh!  Thanks.  And… what was I saying?”
Me: “It was funny.”
Girl: “Oh yeah!  You know what…it wasn’t Target.  It was Jewel.”
Me: [punches Girl in the face]


What They Should Do:


Girl: “Get this: I ran into Rob’s girlfriend, What’sHerName, at the store.  She was buying a gigantic bottle of vaseline and four extra large tarps.  I don’t even want to know.”
Me: “How concise.  And frightening.”


I really think people should have daily word caps.  The caps could be tweaked for people in sales or law or fast food who need to talk more for their careers.  We’d all wear something like a pedometer and, when you’ve reached your allotment of words, a mechanical arm would pop out (think Inspector Gadget) and slap a muzzle on your face.  God, that’d be awesome.

One thought on “Pickalittle Talkalittle

  1. my god… that'd be amazing. i have quite a few people i'd recommend as test subjects during it's "beta" phase.

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