I think I may be a horrible person. Can you know that you’re a horrible person or does it work like sanity–the truly crazy insist they are sane, while the sane question their sanity? Perhaps it’s just mini-manifestations of some sort of inner anarchist.
For example, take this computer thing
that is purported to go down tomorrow, April 1st. What can it do? Will there be chaos? I want there to be! I want complete and utter chaos. Maybe a breakdown of our financial system, maybe punch a few holes into the government. Something big. I doubt anything at all will happen though–it’ll be just like Y2K.
It is this same part of me that wants a zombapocalypse to happen. Just think–EVERYTHING would change. The world, the people in it, your priorities. Everything! Assuming you survive it, of course. There’s not much use to something like that if you’re not alive to see it happen.
Perhaps I am a bad person AND crazy.
On a not entirely unrelated note, apparently you can subscribe to this website
which will, provided you pay the monthly membership fee, pray for you. Oh yes! They will input the prayers you designate into a computer which will speak them for you daily. I so <3 this. I would love to get my hands on the list of subscribers for this site [read, “idiots”] and get some kind of website going where a computer will exercise for you. Just think, for only $13.95 a month you can burn hundreds of calories daily without lifting a finger! There could even be a FREE “emergency” service for those times when you indulge on dessert! Act now! This is a limited time offer!
But seriously, why in the hell would anyone think this is a good idea? Are you that lazy in your beliefs? Doesn’t paying someone–well something, really–to pray for you defeat the whole purpose? The site says, “Subscribe to tell God that you think of him each morning!” but the whole point of paying off this website to pray for you is so that you DON’T have to think about actually doing it yourself. That sentence should read, “Subscribe to tell God that you’re a lazy ass!”
Though “Protestant Prayer Bundle” sounds pretty fun.