Movies and Mini-Soapboxes

Children of Men: It’s unlike any other movie I have ever seen.  The acting was great.  It was one of the movies that will shock you–or at the very least should grab you.  My only complaint, and it’s really slight, was that my main question wasn’t answered.  It didn’t need to be, but I would have liked it to be.  I won’t say I loved the movie, but I certainly wasn’t disappointed either.

I also finally saw Lady in the Water.  Tim’s main complaint of this movie is that all the characters accept what’s happening around them; there’s no skepticism or disbelief.  I can see where it would bug him, but it didn’t bother me because that’s not what the movie was about.  Sometimes in order to enjoy a movie (or book or any sort of story), you have to just accept the reality that you’ve been given.  This is one of those stories.  Having said that, I really liked the movie.  With the exception of Unbreakable, I like M. Night Shyamawhatsit’s films.

I’m excited to read Barack Obama’s, The Audacity of Hope.  My friend Josh is finishing it up and will then lend it to me.  From what I’ve heard of Obama, he has a lot of good things to say.  It has spurred some interesting conversation, circling around compromise.  I personally think we should have more compromise in politics.  You have the far left screaming about one thing and the far right screaming about the other–surely there is some middle ground everyone can live with?  Give a little to get a little.  I know some people would get angry with me for saying this, but too bad.  I said it.  I was going to include an example involving abortion, but I don’t want to launch some huge debate.

Anyway, let’s lighten this up a bit.  This guy comes to the front desk and says he’s staying at the Hilton and wants to cancel his reservation here.  I look him up and find nothing under his name.  He says, “Oh, well maybe I didn’t make one.”  He starts to tell me how he stayed in this hotel a year ago to visit his boyfriend but then found out he was cheating on him and now he’s more into women.  I nod, thinking, “Why is this random guy telling me his life story?” and then the guy starts getting all charming on me.  Or, at least, what he thinks is charming, calling me sweetheart and whatnot.

Him: “I noticed no one is allowed to play the piano here.  I’m the greatest piano player in the world.  It’s too bad I can’t play for you.”
Me: “The world, eh?”
Him: “Do you have a cd player back there?”  He whips out a cd.  “Pop this in, sweetheart.  It’s my demo.”
Me: “Um, ok.”
He goes to sit on the couch and I go in the back to “pop it in.”

The first song comes on–no piano, but him singing that Josh Groban song, “You Raise Me Up.”  At first I thought something was wrong with the cd player.  I took the cd out and put another one in to test it.  The other cd sounded fine.  I put his cd back in and forced back a laugh.  The song is at least at half the regular speed and he sounds, well, absolutely horrid.  Like, drowning cat horrid.  I quickly skip to the next song.  The remaining four songs are all piano stuff and um, not the best in the world.  I’m sitting there thinking, “Why, oh why, did I tell this guy I had a cd player back here?”

Fortunately every song (one of which is a very pretentious version of Heart and Soul) is around a minute long and I am soon back in the lobby handing the cd back to him.
Him: “So what’d you think, sweetheart?” (He asks, fully confident I will praise his cd.)
Me: I nod.  “Yeah.  So what do you plan on doing with this?”
Him:  “I’m going on Oprah.  Today actually.”

I was dumbfounded.  I checked the Oprah website, but I don’t know how far in advance they tape their shows.  I looked at all the categories for upcoming shows, but the only one he semi-qualified for was “I’ve Been Betrayed and I Can’t Let Go!”  So if anyone watches Oprah in the coming months and sees a pretentious piano player who can’t sing to save his life, please let me know he really got on there.

I have, however, found an upcoming show called “Do You Want to Meet a Hot Celebrity?”  I might just fill that one out and try my hand at meeting Michael Vartan.  Our meeting would complete Phase 1 in my masterplan to someday marry him.  Phase 2: Procure mind-control device.

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4 thoughts on “Movies and Mini-Soapboxes

  1. wow.. so maybe she is interviewing people on Opera that were rejected by American Idol? It sounds like this guy might be. I always love when people think they are the greatest whatever and turn out to be horrible :). Granted you have been spoiled having such an awesome cousin have us do Christmas shows when you were little. Remember those? No brainwashing Michael he has been through enough torture being a spy and all on Alias :). You should totally fill it out 🙂 I could see it actually happening.

    • See what happening? My marrying Michael Vartan?
      You wouldn't, uh, happen to have that mind-control device, would you? Or perhaps something in a pill form?

      • I was meaning I could see Oprah picking your submission to have him on the show as he is less known than some of the obvious submissions she will get but known enough to make a good show. As for the mind control device God made me promise not to use it anymore so sorry can't help you there 🙂

  2. well, bad pianists aside…
    and the fact that Michael Vartan is pretty hot aside, as your fellow sister in Christ, and because i love you, just make sure the Bible has something to do with your politics, well, let me rephrase that.. let the Bible be central to your politics. otherwise..well, let's just say it's ugly. but i think you know that. 😀

What do you think?