Movie, movie?

So this is that thing where you pick your 20 favorite movies and list quotes from those movies and people get to guess which movies they are.  Only I’ve done it already and my list of favorite movies hasn’t changed much.  So instead of my favorite films, I’ve taken some funny lines which make me laugh several times over.

1.”I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can’t do that.  He’s a live bear, he will literally rip your face off.”

2. “Please take the chairs away. I don’t like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll.”

3. “Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.”

4. “It might be something fun for the family. Go sailing on the lake. I don’t know… be great in case it floods or something…”

5. “I’m gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French.”

6. “Wait, you know Superman? I think I’m feeling something here… Are you aware of Garfield?”

7. “We’re rehearsing a scene for the upcoming company play called, uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It’s a musical.”

8. “What the hell are you doing out here, Fred? Fred, if you’re real, you better tell me right now!”

9. “Don’t kill him! If you kill him, he won’t learn nothin’!”

10. “Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.”

11. “You should’ve gone to China, you know, ’cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.”

12. “Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face. ‘Oh, you’re gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!’”

13.  “So, if you sleep until you’re 18… Ah, think of the suffering you’re gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.”

14. “You stink Justin Matisse!”

15. “I don’t believe in suicide, but if you’d like to try it, it might cheer me up to watch.”

16. “Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive sh! Now, I have a whole bag of sh! with your name on it.”

17. “I delivered cinnamon rolls on a truck with bad suspension for three years! Do you know what that does to your kidneys? My poor kidneys! My freaking kidneys! My poor freaking kidneys! My freaking, scarred, bruised kidneys!”

18. “Oh, it’s a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol.”

19. “At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

20. “Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?”