Lately I’ve been thinking about love. More specifically, its existence. Obviously, I am not talking about the love you feel for your family or for a pet. But that head-over-heels, lasting for all time, can think of nothing else love.

Love is everywhere. In movies, on television shows and in the songs you hear on the radio. For someone who doesn’t have this love, and to be barraged with so much of it, you start to feel like something is wrong with you. Why don’t you have this love? How can you never have known it?

But I’ve been thinking, and I think that the reason there are so many songs, books and movies about great love is because they’re all looking for it too. No one has it. Which makes me wonder if it even exists at all.

Tonight I went out with a friend. She’s been having some problems with her boyfriend. He’s controlling and demanding and a lot of other things. They had an argument on the phone after we left the restaurant about how she was spending her time. They ended the phone conversation by saying, “I love you.” I was incredulous. I thought, “That’s not love!” (Which brought to mind a great quote from The Mexican, “That’s not right. I mean, there’s a right answer here, but that’s not it.”) Manipulation? Yes. Codependency? Yes. Love? Hell no.

I may not know for sure whether true love exists or not, but I know what it should be. Loving someone should mean wanting better for them than for yourself. It should mean doing something you may not want to do, simply because the result would make them happy or make a part of their life easier. It should mean thinking of them before thinking of yourself. You should wake up each day thinking, “My God, how did I get so lucky?” even after twenty years of marriage.

This is why you should never leave me to my own devices for too long. Thoughts like this start coming out. Next on the thought-agenda: “The Meaning of Life: I Ain’t No Hollaback Girl. No, I Ain’t No Hollaback Girl.”

One thought on “Love

  1. True Love
    no no no. shoot that hollaback girl in teh head! she is not the meaning of life! i've already told you that i think the meaning of life is to create. and you know i'm always right! dammit!
    and about love — i'm giving my opinion here, because the subject didn't say "rhetorical". so there.
    i don't think "true love" exists in the sense that everyone likes to think of it. i think it's a fairy tale that is saved for the movies and books. i think what happens is that you lust for someone incredibly so, and you're with them for so long, and you realize one day that you've grown to love them just as strongly as you love your best friends and family. "true love" IS what you have with your best friends and family — but isn't that what you'd want to have in your partner anyway? being partnered with someone you consider to be your best friend with a love that can never be broken? there is no "love at first sight." that, m'friend, is lust. always has been, always will be. think about it: everyone's looking for a partner to love and connect with spiritually and emotionally — but don't we already have that with our friends and family?
    so yes, true love exists. you're just waiting to find it with someone you can have sex with with no consequences. lol.

What do you think?