Today was my first countable Wednesday Weigh-In. Three pounds lost this week, which disheartened me a little at first (was hoping for at least five) but I realized that if I maintained three pounds a week I would go above and beyond my 30-pound summer weight loss goal. So there’s that. I think I must be gaining some muscle also, because my pants are fitting a little looser. I doubt only losing three pounds would account for that.
This is hard. Not to say that I am surprised. If losing weight were easy then I would not have weight to lose. It’s a lot of telling myself no. Just today, a guy walked past me in the office with a bag of McDonald’s. It smelled really good. It was depressing to eat my lunch of a pb&j sandwich and an apple after that. But I did. A couple of weeks ago I probably would have chucked the sandwich and gotten the damned McDonald’s.
One thing I have realized lately, with Mr. W’s help, is I’ve been lying to myself. I always say, “I don’t have willpower” in regards to snacking, but it isn’t true. If I didn’t have willpower there is no way I could be a minimalist. By saying, “I don’t have willpower. I can’t help myself” I am actually giving myself an excuse. Like, I can eat those chips because I don’t really have a choice–I don’t have willpower. It’s time to admit that I am actually eating those chips because I don’t want to tell myself no.
So I’m changing my inner dialogue a little.
BEFORE:
Brain: I want some chips!
Me: I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Brain: GIMME GIMME GIMME!
Me: We really shouldn’t have chips.
Brain: CHIPSCHIPSCHIPSCHIPSCHIPS–I can do this all day–CHIPSCHIPSCHIPS!!
Me: Fine, damn you.
NOW:
Brain: I want some chips!
Me: No.
Brain: Pssht, you can’t tell me no. GIMME…
Me: No.
Brain: [pouts] You’re mean.
Me: Suck it.
seeeeriously know where you're coming from. ::SIGH:: but you've hit the money on the head.. wait..