It’s Rapture-tastic

Here’s something that I haven’t yet blogged about and kind of can’t believe that I let it slip past me: May 21st’s Rapture.

“But Teri, that is over and done with.  Old news!” says you.  It’s true that the proposed Rapture Day came and went without so much as a hiccup, but Harold Camping hasn’t given up.  He has decreed that May 21st was more spiritual than physical, and that the end of the world will still happen on October 21st, 2011.

For a supposed Bible expert, it’s pretty clear that he hasn’t read much of the Bible.  So let’s talk about what the End Times are, and what they are not because there are some people who need serious help on that point.  Specifically the people who pay atheists to watch their pets after the Rapture happens damn do I wish I had come up with the idea first] and the people who maxed out their credit cards in anticipation of May 21st.  My question to you: just how stupid are you?

Here’s what we really know about the End Times:
–“But of that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.” [Mark 13:32] –A world leader will rise up and restore peace in the Middle East
–The Jews will regain control of Jerusalem
–A One-World government will begin with the world leader to rule it – this is the Anti-Christ
–A tribulation will take place that will last for seven years.  This is going to be a truly terrible time on Earth.
–Note: there are different theories as to when the Rapture will take place: before the tribulation, halfway through the tribulation, and at the end of the tribulation.  Whenever it is, all believers in Christ will be taken up to Heaven.

[Side note:  All of these events are based on the Bible.  You might not believe in the Bible or that any of the events will occur.  And that’s okay–I’m not trying to make you believe anything.  But when a man predicts a Christian event, he better make damn sure it’s based on Christian theology.]

Now, if it sounds like *ANY* of these events have occurred, by all means, commence freaking out in the days prior to October 21st.  The world is going to end.  Say your “I love yous”, spend all your money, and kiss your ass goodbye.

However, on October 22nd, the rest of us are all going to laugh at you.