Getting Lunch

Saturday was a particularly emotional marriage counseling session for me, and after it Mr. W and I left to go pick up some lunch.  We decided to go to Arby’s.

Mr. W: “Are you going to be okay to go in?”
Me: [sniffling and wiping my eyes] “I’ll be okay.”
Mr. W: “It’s not like no one hasn’t ever cried in an Arby’s before.  Probably happens all the time.”

It was a big laugh I really needed at that moment.

Yesterday I learned that what happened to me as a little girl is much more pervasive than I thought, and I have not done a very good job of communicating that to my individual counselor.  Definitely something to correct at next week’s session.

I am afraid of emotions.  Afraid of sharing mine, even afraid of having them, and having other people share theirs with me.  I shut down emotionally when things get “too real”.  It was a survival tactic, but now hurts me and definitely hurts my marriage.  I keep things surfacy with many of the people in my life, which means that I don’t develop a lot of deep relationships.  This makes me super thankful for the few deep friendships that I do have.  I don’t know how it happened, but glad it did.

So thank you, Friends.

What do you think?