Drunken Tales and One Sober Old Guy

We got a call that a guest was in the lobby with no clothes on. A girl, completely drunk, mind you, was sprawled on the couch with no pants on. The night operator I work with approached the girl and talked to her while I called security for an escort. Apparently the girl thought she was in her room and had removed her pants because she had peed in them. Great. Security took her to her room and we roped off the couch until housekeeping comes in at 6am to clean it.

There’s a valet guy who hits on me like it’s his job. Excerpt from a recent conversation: (He heard me answer the phone, “Front desk, how can I help you?”) Afterward…
Him: “You’re not gonna ask how you can help me, huh?”
Me: “Okay, how can I help you?”
Him: “I can’t answer that, or I’ll get in trouble. So when are you going to let me take you to lunch?”
Me: “I don’t eat lunch. I’m sleeping at lunchtime.”
Him: “When do you eat?”
Me: “At work.”
Him: “Well, maybe I’ll just bring you lunch sometime at work.”

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