Down, Boy

I must be having a good hair day or something, ’cause I’ve been hit on by four different guys tonight and I’m only a few hours into my shift.  I’m so tired of this crap–I try to be nice and I try to be polite in my refusals, but clearly that doesn’t deter them, so from now on I’m going to be mean about it outright.  My vacation next week is officially being declared a vacation from men.

The worst hit on was actually a phone call.  He asked for my name right off the bat and, fortunately, intuition told me to go with Amanda.

Me: “Front Desk, how can I help you?”
Him: “Happy New Year to you.  What’s your name?”
Me: “Amanda.”
Him: “Amanda.  Hi.  You have such a sexy voice.  Has anyone ever told you that?”
Me: “Yep.”
Him: “Are you sexy, Amanda?”
Me: “No.  And how can I help you?”
Him: “I know, I know.  I’m calling on company time.  Can I get your phone number and call on your own time, Amanda?”
Me: “No, my boyfriend wouldn’t like that.”
Him: “Amanda, Amanda.  If he answers I’ll just ask for Mike.  We’ll keep it on the downlow.”
[I almost laughed when he actually said “downlow.”] Me: “No, see I don’t do that to my boyfriend.”
Him: “But he’s a boy.  I’m a man, Amanda.  You need a man.  I’m tall, dark, and handsome.  Is he tall, dark, and handsome?”
Me: “Yep.”
Him:  “How big are his feet?  I have really big feet.  You know what that means.”
[I cut him off again and tried to excuse myself, and that’s when things really started going downhill.  I hung up on him and called Security.] Joe: “Security.”
Me: “Hey, if I don’t answer a phone call it gets transferred to you guys, right?”
Joe: “Yeah.”
Me: “Okay.  I got a dirty phone call and if he calls back I’m not answering.”
[Joe laughs.] Joe: “We’ll take care of it.”

I almost hoped the abominable ass would call back, but alas, he did not.  Joe is a big teddy bear, but he’s a pretty big guy (and sounds it).  I’d like to have seen the look on that guy’s face, expecting to hear Amanda’s sexy voice and being greeted by Joe instead.

I wish there was a way you could mace someone via telephone.  I’d be all about that.

6 thoughts on “Down, Boy

  1. when you get a call like that and use a fake name you should give a guy name like jake or some guy name. See what they do with that instead of the fake Amanda 🙂

      • I'm trying to think of a snappy comeback for the whole "your voice is so sexy" thing, cause I do get that a lot. So far, all I have is a suggested retort from Marty: "Yeah, that's what my girlfriend says." I don't know how deterring that is.

        • Like I said if you started with fake name of a guy though then said that is what my girlfriend says that would be funny I think. I am totally wondering what they would say to that. I mean there are guys that sound somewhat feminine so would be like um yeah :).

What do you think?