“Dad pees more than most people…well, I don’t even know what people do that much.”

So two flights, a collective 18 hours of driving, and one funeral later–I am back! And there was some definite holiday cheer happening in your posts, and even a few pictures. Very nice. My week was pretty uneventful, save for a choking experience I had with an Aleve tablet on the ride home; a small hitch in my endeavor to swallow pills.

Here is a picture of our Christmas tree which I was going to post a week ago and forgot about:

I returned home today to find the bottommost ornaments not on the tree, but lying on the floor around it. I guess the cats got a little bored.

Here’s my brother in a suit, sans tie. I told him he cleans up real nice.

And here’s an incredibly bad picture of me. It was taken around the sixth hour of the car ride home, which should explain my brother.

And last but certainly not least–a rant!

Sometimes when I am incredibly bored during a slow night at work, I’ll surf the internet for fan fiction. Some of it is actually pretty good, I’ll admit. However, what is NOT good is when the author inserts music into their stories to set a mood or tone. Hello, writer, that’s your job. It’s like the Half-Assed 101 School of Writing.

Billy walked into the room and began looking for her–the reason he was in so much pain, the thief of his comic book collection. He knew she’d attend the party, her own arrogance could never entertain the idea that he’d discovered what she’d done. Unfortunately for her, she was wrong.

(DARE by the Gorillaz begins to play in the background)
(never did no harm
never did no harm
never did no harm
it’s dare)

He spotted her by the punch bowl, feigning innocence as she drank from her red plastic Dixie cup. Two guys, future comic book victims, no doubt, stood on either side of her, ready to get her another plate of carrot sticks or glass of punch if she should require it.

(you’ve got to press it on you
you just think it, that’s what you do baby
hold it down there
jump with them all and move it
jump back and forth
it feels like you were there yourself
work it out)

He walked over, making sure to keep out of her line of sight. Without warning, he appeared before her and slapped her cheek, spilling her punch down the front of her designer sweater.

((extra long dance beat))
———-
Maybe I’ll start using pictures in my stories. That way I can just skip all the painstaking details and description.

Billy entered the room, which looked a lot like this:

Only a little more goth and with some disco balls.