Chapter Two

You know the feeling when something finally clicks?  Like you’ve known it, but when you really know it, it’s different.  I had one of those moments the other day.

I was reading the self-esteem book and she was talking about when we’re afraid of something happening we defend ourselves against it, but our actions actually make the thing we were afraid would happen, happen.

For example, I am afraid that I won’t make it as a writer.  In order to spare myself that possible rejection and the outcome of having no writing future, I seldom finish what I write or send it off to publishers.  But since I never finish anything or submit it, I never will make it as a writer.  At least if I tried “the book’s way”, I’d have a shot at becoming a writer.  My way I have no shot at all.  The thing I don’t understand is why do I do this?

Why is it easier to shoot ourselves down than risk the chance that someone else will do it?  All that does is make you mad at yourself.

3 thoughts on “Chapter Two

  1. Yes, I am often mad at myself for being so fearful. Even though I know that usually when I face my fear I'm happy or at least happy I did it, that still doesn't stop me from being afraid the next time.

  2. The artistic person is often their own worst critic. "You suck" is easier to hear from yourself than another person. At least that way your humiliations are private and personal, not blaring and public. You can go to someone and say, "Yeah, I'm a writer. I'm working on such and such manuscript." And if you never send it in, they won't know. It's easier to keep yourself stalling, or make yourself believe that you are stalling than it is to fail. It's easier to keep the quote/unquote HOPE that if you just finish it, you won't fail. But if you actually finish it, then you have to face the fact that you will actually fail. It's easier never to get that far.

What do you think?