Bowling and Other Hazards

Yesterday was my brother’s birthday. My family went bowling together to celebrate. Now, bowling isn’t something I do a lot of for one fundamental reason: I suck at it. I’ve never been an athletic type of person. I think my body intentionally thwarts my attempts in order to laugh at me. “Ha! You think you’re going to keep that arm straight? We’ll show you!” And then, instead of keeping my arm straight like I’m trying to, I smack myself in the face with it.

But oh, last night was different from my previous attempts. Last night I was on fire. I kept getting spares – which amazes me really. In case you don’t know, a spare is when you knock all the pins down. It sounds easy, but is it? Those pins are small, and if you keep smacking yourself in the face instead of keeping your arm straight for the ever-elusive follow-through, it is even harder. I would approach the foul line and do my thing. The first ball would always go straight into the gutter. My second attempt would knock every pin down and I’d end up with a spare. If only I could do that the first time, think of all the hassle I’d save!

I enjoy watching more than playing, because that is when I can yell encouraging things when people suck. I sometimes yell, “Good effort!” in a supportive way. After a while though, I got tired of yelling the same thing. I tried to think, “What else might people shout in sports?” So then I started yelling “Keep your eye on the ball!”, “Offsides!” and “Walk it off!” They weren’t as supportive as “Good effort!” was, but they were funnier.

Oh, and my highest bowling score was 84. I pretty much doubled my average right then and there. I’ve never been more proud.

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