Today I ate a banana. Well, most of a banana.

And it’s only worth mentioning because I freakin’ hate bananas–they have no redeeming qualities. I hate the way they smell. I hate the way they taste. I hate their texture. But every once in a while I’ll see one and think, “I must have that banana!” I’ll usually get half-way through it before my brain or my mouth or whatever it is comes back to its senses and forces me to throw the rest away before I gag in disgust.

Maybe it’s some sort of potassium deficiency thing.

In non-banana news (that’s fun to say aloud), this man at work has been flirting with me for a while, but today took that major step from “flirting” to “downright hitting on”. I’ve been nice to him and polite and whatever–Teri language for not interested. Yeah, yeah–my language is seriously flawed. Bite me.

Him: “You’re pretty quiet, huh?”
Me: “Yeah. Just kinda keep to myself.”
Him: “You’re private.”
Me: “Yep.”
Him: “I like that.” [Quickly eyes my chest.] “I really like that.”
Me: “Um, okay.”
Him: “That shirt’s a real good color on you.”
Me: “Uh, thanks.”
Him: “I’ll talk to you later.”
Me: “Okay.”

Note that my special language is also quite an eloquent one. Oh, yes. Poetry in motion right here.

8 thoughts on “Bananas

  1. roflmao.
    I love you teri.
    I usually eat bananas in cereal or w/ peanut butter (peanut butter and banana sandwich NOT fried, thank you!) other wise they tend to taste weird.

  2. I like bananas but what I really wanted to say is:
    One should never follow "I like that" with "I really like that." It is the essence of creep.
    I briefly glanced at your entry and thought the banana eating and creepy guy would be related because, once, (at band camp) in middle school, I was eating a banana at lunch and a boy started teasing me about it. He was saying things like, "Oooh, I like how you eat that. Oh, you're turning me on." So, in return, I looked him straight in the eye, held up the banana, and broke off a section in my hand.
    He stopped bothering me.

  3. I happen to think Teri is a hilarious writer… or at least blogger. (hmm…maybe if she posted some of her fiction, I'd be able to comment…hmmmmm…. *exaggerated wink*)
    I just have to say I would have had a VERY hard time NOT laughing at the poor schmuck at your office. I would have laughed and sprayed chewed banana all over him.
    PS – not a fan o' bananas myself. Although I like artificial banana flavoring (lollipops and such…)

    • I'm really good at being deadpan on the outside when inside I'm screaming, or laughing my head off. Definitely something I picked up in my time at the hotel.
      I posted a couple of shorts on here but…yeah. Nothing else is ready (says the perfectionist)!!
      Love you!

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