Aquarians and Money

I was reading through The Onion and came across the Aquarius horoscope for this week–and the funniest thing I’ve read in quite a while:
“Goodwill and cheer will cause your heart to swell to three times its normal size this week, only to explode minutes later, spreading festive joy all over your respiratory system.”
I’ve been listening to a lot of Dave Ramsey‘s talk show and am really on fire.  I’m now on a financial plan, which is really just a fancy term for having no spending money.  Of course, I never had any spending money–the financial plan is merely the willingness to admit it to yourself.  ‘Cause I gotta say, I am bad with money.  Absolutely horrible.  I’m paying my stupid tax, and it has a high interest rate.  But NO MORE.  I have now taken control, thank you.I need to be better with money.  My dad’s job is shaky again, and I want to be in a position where I could help my parents financially.  Because Lord knows they’ve taken care of my dumb ass enough times.  I don’t want them to have to worry, but I can’t do anything about it and that pisses me off.  So, yeah, time for change.  And if you could pray for my dad, light a candle, dance around a tree, or whatever it is that you do I’d really appreciate it.

I don’t usually talk about my feelings.  It’s like pulling teeth for Tim to get me to a.) admit something is wrong, and b.) talk about it.  I don’t even know why I’m blogging about this.  I’m not going to share anything here, either.  But I’m not okay.  I haven’t been for a while, but I get by because my main tactic is to push it down and forget about it.  I am amazing at avoidance.  Unfortunately, I came to that inevitable point where things wouldn’t push anymore, so I started drinking.  After a while that stopped working too, and I have since stopped drinking.  I was really down a week or two ago and freaked some of my friends out.  I freaked myself out, to be honest, which is why I finally started talking about what was going on.  So now they’re keeping an eye on me, which is good.
I’m seriously surprised I posted this.  I guess it’s here because I would appreciate a little prayer or tree dancing for myself.

6 thoughts on “Aquarians and Money

  1. Hey hon. Prayer on the way. Think I'd pass out trying to tree dance though.
    You know you can call me if you ever need yet another person to talk to.

  2. As somebody who has been seriously not all right before, kudos to you for admitting it. Now, you need to do something about it. Finding the root of the problem is good – mine was undiagnosed depression and a quicksand situation at school.
    If the root is undetectable or amorphous, it could be an udiagnosed something, it could be anxiety about your dad, or it could be the weather. Nothing triggers my innability to keep myself from crying like a few solid days of rain.
    If you feel it's undiagnosed something, get thee to a professional through your work's insurace. Or cheap counseling services at a local university.
    I'll dance around a tree naked for you and your dad (the nakedness really helps). If you need anything, just ask.

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