Have you ever seen a sign or warning so stupid and wondered what on earth someone had to have done for the warning to have been made in the first place? Last night I found one of the guys responsible for those idiotic warnings.
An Asian twenty-something came to the desk and very proudly announced that he won a slot-type video game at the bar and wanted to collect his credit of 9-4-2. (I’m assuming he means dollars and not something ridiculous like toothpicks or hotel keys–though I do have access to a significant number of both.) His accent was so thick and his request so bizarre that he had to repeat himself several times before I could understand that he wanted me to give him money for winning. I replied with something profound, such as, “Uh, no we don’t do that. It’s not real.”
The guy was heartbroken, understandably, but finally left me alone. His friend came over minutes later, however, quite angry.
Guy: “I am a little bit tipsy, but we won that machine and I want the money.”
Me: “It’s just a game. There aren’t real cash prizes.”
Guy: “No, I won. You need to pay me now.”
Me: “Sir, let me get my manager.”
Guy: “I don’t want a manager. I want you. The machine is in your hotel and I won. You have to give me money.”
Fortunately for me, my manager heard the exchange and came out to join us. He spent a good five or ten minutes explaining to the guy that gambling in Chicago is illegal and it is only an arcade game, not an actual means of gambling.
Guy: “But then you should have a sign saying you can’t win money. There is no sign. How do people know this?”
Manager: [shrugs] “Everybody knows. You can’t gamble here.”
Guy: “Next time I stay here, I want to see a sign on the machine.”
Manager: “Okay, sir.”
So now I guess we’ll put something up that says, “NOT REAL!! No money will be won in the process of playing this game.” You wouldn’t think you’d need that on an arcade game, but there’s a first for everything.
Oh, and starting out with “I’m a little bit tipsy,” is not the best way to get me to take you seriously. Don’t worry, I’ll know without you having to say a thing.
lol. i love your incredible hotel stories. you're still compliling all of these, yes? i'll be your editor and help you put them all together with a thru-line. 🙂 sounds like fun, huh!?!?
you should have asked the guy if he wanted some flied lice. but like you said, his engrish was bad.
…god, i'm going to hell.
in the same vein as Tim, you should glob all these together as a story.
The Adventures of Ani the Hotel Wench.
Or something equally eye catching.