Freelance Fakers

So I created a more professional site for the freelance writing stuff. It kind of became necessary after a couple phone interview/meeting things where the other person mentioned reading some of my posts. While they seemed to have enjoyed them, I think most people should probably not be reading these posts, as it only serves as documented evidence that I may be insane. So anyway, hopefully this change will increase how much I post here (though don’t hold me to anything, because I makes statements like this a lot and they always turn out to be a lie).

I have been looking for lots of freelance work lately, using various sites, and was contacted by one that was clearly a scam. Like, it made all those Nigerian Princes seem on the up and up. I decided to play with them a little. The first step was a brief Google Hangouts interview, and I use that word loosely, before they asked me to fill out the following brief questionnaire.

1). Have you ever worked from home or online before? Yes.
2). Are you currently employed? Correct again!
3). How many hours do you intend to dedicate to this job position if hired? 169
4). What is your past experience with data entry and customer service? Many years working with customer service and data entry.
5). Do you have any quickbook exp & Why do you want to work for this company? Yes.
6). Whats your clerical speed? 200 words per minute
7). What do you understand by privacy and code of conduct? How do you handle conflict? What are your career goals? Privacy means things are private and not to be shared. A code of conduct is rules, or a sort of code, for how to conduct yourself. I handle conflict primarily by avoiding it. My career goals are to make lots of money with minimal work.
8). What is your highest educational diploma and when did you receive it? I have an MBA and received it shortly after completing the MBA program.
9). How long do you expect to remain employed with this company if hired? I want to be employed for a long time. Preferably until I die.
10). Do you have an idea of how to use MS excel? Yes. I have several ideas on how to use it, in fact.
11). Tell me about yourself and your last or current job? I like cats, crocheting scarves, and work in finance. I am governing information in the finance.
12). What are your strengths and weaknesses/Are you willing to relocate? Do you have any Military experience? If YES, how many years? I have no strengths or weaknesses, so it is even. I am only willing to relocate to Germany. And I have no military experience.
13). What experience have you had that relates to this position ? What was your favorite job ever? I deal with data every day. I enter it. But sometimes also I delete it. My favorite job ever was the year I spent being a wizard.
14). What are 3 things you’d look for in an ideal job & Why Should we Hire You? Three things I would look for in an ideal job is: lots of money, working from home, and not working hard. You should hire me because I was once a damn wizard.
15). How would you like to be paid: Check, Direct deposit or Wire transfer? Yes.
16). What’s the name of the banking institution you operate with to know if it tallies with the company financial account? Washington Mutual

I returned this questionnaire thinking there was no way this person would contact me again, but clearly they do not read these, because he was messaging me the next day about how I needed to buy like twenty different varieties of accounting software (for both Mac and PC) in order to do this job. I had grown tired of this little game by this point and told him that I knew it was a scam and had already reported his posting to the freelance website he listed the job on. Finally, THAT got him to leave me alone.